Back on the 'coaster?

I don't like roller coasters. The amusement park rides OR the emotional rides. Errrgh!

So OK, the Texas sale is about to take place, and I'm truly good with that! But yesterday, and I don't even KNOW how I found this site, I find a rescue/re-homing place in Harshaw, WI. They have horses for sale, adoption, and rehoming. Just so happens, a local camp is downsizing their herd, and they have a bunch of trail horses coming in or already in. SIGH. I email her. Of COURSE I do! But I'm brutally honest, and tell her I'm timid, I've tried a couple of horses since Leah died, described Leah, and said if you couldn't confidently put a 5 year old on the horse, it wouldn't work for me. She emails back that she understands totally, and she thinks the horse I'm looking for may be right around the corner with one of these camp horses. SIGH.

I don't want a challenge. I want a willing partner that's got the personality of Leah. Not a horse that "needs a tune-up" or "with a little work will do what you want"... not one that "needs prodding" when asked to do something. Just one that will stand and fall asleep when I groom him/her, will tack up while standing still and not fussing, will walk off and TRUST ME, will offer no attitude when asked to do something. SIGH. Too much to ask? I just don't think it is. BUT, am I asking the right person? I have to say lots of prayers, and lay in wait for the answer. I need to keep reminding myself of that.

How will I know? Trusting, and listening.

And, we didn't.

Pep talk, pep talk. I'm good at talk. But what I am NOT good at is being a leader for a horse. What a roller coaster I've put myself on. As of this morning, I am horseless. Cheryl will come to pick Texas up from Tracy's sometime this week, and I will no longer have the responsibility that lurked over me for some time now. I can honestly say I feel good about it, though. This time, it wasn't as hard. Maybe I didn't give myself enough time to really get attached to him? I dunno. I do love him - he is a sweet horse. "It's not him, it's me." LOL! But I know I will see him all the time by Cheryl, so that makes it a million times easier, too. [SIGH] Well, now I'm going to focus on paying a few bills off, and in a year's time I should be VERY close to debt free. SO. That' the good news. :) That's all for now, folks!